Thursday, April 01, 2010

Apple, Inc Collaborates With Pátzcuaro Tourism Commission

DATELINE: Pátzcuaro, Michoacán. April 1, 2010

As a devoted Apple fanboy, I occasionally am privileged to receive insider info from a Silicon Valley source that chooses to remain anonymous.
(For similar reasons, illustrations are not available yet.)

Thus it was that I was astonished when I opened my encrypted email earlier this morning to learn of the collaboration of Pátzcuaro's Tourism Development Commission with Apple, Inc. in regard to the renovations of the Plaza Grande. The newly renovated Plaza will, first of all, be a wi-fi zone where both local citizens, expats and tourists can use their mobile devices to both check their email and chat in real time with their buddies. (There goes The Office.)

Artesanías aficionados will be able to shop online and pay with digital money for the Catrinas, Alejibres and Cocuchas without the bother and added expense of a guide to take them to craft villages around the Lake.

The new multi-story Mercado will feature multilingual touch screen iPads at strategically located stations so that shoppers may view produce, meats and clothing in an easy manner, comparing the prices in advance, and pay with credit  card or PayPal. This lessons the risk of petty thievery as well.

Local fondas and taquerías are eager to jump on the digital bandwagon. Proposals are afoot for an iApp for online ordering from your favorite taquería, birrería or quesadillería for digital micro payments. This is looked on as a major breakthrough in reducing or even eliminating the perpetual coin change shortage.

As an added bonus, digital subscribers will be able to get combi van schedules on line and make reservations for boarding passes, thus eliminating the uncertainty that some persons experience under the present system. Phase 2 will breakout the digital readable passcards to eliminate the scrambling for change that is so aggravating now.

All involved are enthusiastic for the success of this plan. "If all goes well", said an unattributed municipal spokesperson, "we'll be looking at virtualization technology to allow more visitors to enjoy Pátzcuaro without those stinking tour buses clogging our calles."

Other municipalities are watching closely, and may develop similar programs if Pátzcuaro's is seen as successful.

Remember; you read it here first.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

sounds like an april fools article to me.

happy first day of april.

teresa in lake stevens, wa.

Stephen said...

You really had me scared there, but just for a minute. Still, your report ranks up there with some of the best that will appear today.

Felipe said...

Well, ain´t you the cute one.

Tancho said...

You forgot to mention that also planned is the installation of the moving sidewalk which will transport people from the large to the small plaza.
But first the underground garage will be built with elevators to the 11 patios.

Don Cuevas said...

Wait a minute, you two; are you doubting my veracity?

I can show you the very computer that the email arrived on!

I'm having my team of high powered, Morelian lawyers contact you to sue for sand wedges.

Saludos,
Don Cuevas

Don Cuevas said...

Tancho; the comments are coming in thick and fast, and our crack news team is having trouble keeping up with the bulletins in timely fashion.

However, my confidential sources indicate that you are right. Tickets for the underground parking garage (later to include a love motel) will be vended at the Subway Shop on the corner and other select outlets.

Saludos,
Don Cuevas

Bob Mrotek said...

I am going to hold you to all this Don Cuevas :)

Tancho said...

I think a better plan would be is to set up a company and lure investors for the investment opportunity of a lifetime.....
You go ahead first!

Calypso said...

I am TOTALLY confused now - if this was the April 1st mission - it worked.

Steve Cotton said...

Clever. Very clever.

Don Cuevas said...

Calypso, there are rumors of a high speed monorail system to be built from Xalapa to Xico.

What do you know of that?

Saludos,
Don Cuevas

Don Cuevas said...

Steve Cotton said...
"Clever. Very clever."

Who? What, Steve?

Saludos,
Don Cuevas

Paxton said...

Colima has free internet in all the main Plazas for a couple of years.

They even made nice little shade structures to work under and are very popular. They keep the mangos from falling on your omputer.(True)

Many of my posts were done from there every night. I often worked till 1 am. It was delightful.

Free internet in the Plazas is coming to Mexico.

Don Cuevas said...

Bienvenidos, Paxton.

Oaxaca also has free wi-fi in Parque Júarez, at least El Llano), a large and pleasant space along Av Júarez and Av Pino Súarez.

I never took my laptop there, partly because of general security concerns, (although the area is a nice neighborhood) but mostly because the house we were renting a few blocks away was well equipped with wi-fi.

Saludos,
Don Cuevas